It's been 10 days since I accidentally poured boiling water onto my left foot. It was sore, however I thought after a visit to the A+E unit things would settle down, and indeed after 48 hours things seemed to be on the mend.
I covered the England v France game, a match which for obvious reasons had my attention for several hours, both before and during the game. It also had me on my feet - a lot. It wasn't until the journey home later than evening that I realised my foot was burning up. During the night the pain woke me up with it getting worse as the day went on. Standing up was the worst, with the pain some of the sorest I've ever experienced in my life. This continued for several days. A few further trips to the doctors (including one out of hours on Sunday) now has me on a course of antibiotics as they believe things may have gotten infected.
10 days (and counting) being housebound isn't great for someone who was already at a bit of a low point.
A Creative Void
I've been struggling from a photographic point of view over these past few months. It's quite difficult to explain exactly how I feel, but I believe it is partly to do with how passionate I am about creating an image which reflects my own vision. In fact it would seem that I'm even struggling to articulate my feelings in this blog post (which has been rewritten twice already) - so bear with me.
These days, I don't think I can simply go out for a few hours, point the camera at something, take a few pictures and then later come home, cull, process and publish, and be happy with the output. The images I've produced over these last few months have been ok, middle of the road stuff. The more, however, I look back at them the more I realise how little connection I have with them, and how they certainly don't reflect the feeling and vision in my head.
This hurts. A lot.
As I've said before, photography, after my family, is my single greatest passion in life. When I hit the 'funk' from a creative point of view, it impacts other parts of my life, which in turn then also double impacts my creativity in return.
I'm full of self doubt at the moment, and for good reason. Most of the images I've produced over the past 6 months (since making this photography thing my full time job) have fallen way short of my own self imposed standards.
As I've sat here, during my foot imposed house arrest, it's afforded me plenty of time to think about my current state of mind. I don't believe I can approach my creativity problem without first addressing some other fundamental issues.
It's Time To Clear The Funk Out
Over these past 10 days I've been doing quite a bit of reading (and watching) around the subject of creativity and the creative mind, and while I don't want to simply follow, letter by letter, someone else's regime, there were a number of tips which I believe will help me. I won't talk about specifics just yet, I'll wait for a few months until I've had a chance to put into practice, but rest assured I'll update you all on my progress.
For now, it's time to hobble back into the kitchen for my daily medication. Soon it will be time to wander ...